some lady who was almost like a surrogate mother was taking me to school–she was not terribly confident, a little scatterbrained, and very kind–i think she had been in the kitchen at my family home that wasn’t my family home–we met in a park–i wanted to be relatively unnoticed at school–my gender was ambiguous–i wore mostly black and a pale expression–i remembered reading the symptoms of being human and wondering if i were at all like riley, though i felt like there was a gender my heart knew i was, i just couldn’t recall which–we were driving through the city and i pointed out the building we needed to pull up at–it was a massive golden hotel or casino, something i recognised from a previous dream–“mom” accidentally turned too early–i can’t remember who ended up having a moment of panic, i think it was me–but the turn was okay–it took us through a parking structure and back up to the entrance–we got out of the car and headed towards the entrance through dispersed crowds of people–everyone looked disconnected or maybe they were only focused on getting to where they needed to get to–i was confused–“mom” seemed to have an idea of what was going on–i couldn’t figure out how to swipe my card to get in/establish that i was present–i realised that my shirt was wrong–it was plain and i remembered wanting to wear the one that had some white script across the chest–i was wearing my green zip up hoodie with black cat faces on it–i had wanted to wear a plain black hoodie–i kept trying to pull off my cat hoodie, but it was stuck around my arms and reattached itself to me every time i almost managed to pull it off–“mom” helped me swipe my card and get through the front doors–i was overwhelmed
–i kept waking up through the night and replaying certain parts of the dream–i guess i was trying to subconsciously make it stick for the morning–i know there was more i remembered, but it’s faded right now–maybe later
–i’m still pretty sick
–my throat is less swollen, but it still hurts to swallow and yawn
–my body aches and mostly runs cold now
–i have slept so much and am still so exhausted
–my appetite still hasn’t returned–i’ve been trying to freeze my throat with a smoothie and burn it with tea–it helps for a bit
–i don’t know why i feel so awful–i feel like i’m doing whatever i can to try to heal–though i guess not eating probably isn’t helping
–today i woke up with a terrible headache and ear ache
–i reluctantly scheduled a doctor’s appointment for later in the day with the anticipation that they are going to see nothing wrong
–still weighed down by depression
a trip of the tongue 