list 46

not a thing

 

eight pm: sudden sadness and hopelessness–knitting and eating chinese take out–watching that sherlock show that people seem to like–something about watching television–even though i don’t really watch television–is depressing–i don’t feel i did enough–i am so tired

the depakote has me feeling so…tired. my legs go weak and my lids get so heavy that it’s draining just trying to keep my eyes open–mostly i feel emotions with a degree of separation–emotions in my body in another body–there’s a foam buffer

i think i like it–or at least it’s nice to not feel so volatile–it’s nice to feel like i can approach things calmly…sometimes

i feel so badly about myself–remember to not compare me to others…it’s tough

encouraged to try roller derby–i could use the exercise

i feel bloated and heavy